and back in the landscape again...
Neutrophils and haemoglobin down again last week, but as my last injection was a reduced dose, we went for it anyway. Well, I did, with my specialist nurse's permission. For the first time, Ath was around and in 'my space' for the procedure (he's usually in bed before his 2am shift at Sainsburys); actually absolutely the right time to be around - to 'celebrate' the last one!
Friday, I went to the eye clinic (lovely personable specialist, really interested in tx and its side-effects, having known someone in whom it triggered psychosis) to be told that my symptoms are migraine minus the headache... Actually, maybe they've not been minus the headache sometimes; I stopped taking much notice of those as they seemed such a regular feature... Pupils massively dilated from the eye exam, I wasn't allowed to drive for 4-5 hours. Bit of a bummer.
Still, it gave me the rest of the day off work, even if skulking around Bath in dark glasses on a dull day made me feel like a coked-up minor celebrity... Hanging round a very draughty and cold bus station for a bus home exacerbated the chills, so I decamped to bed for the rest of the day... and missed a trip to the Rondo in the evening (bit of communication breakdown there). The rest was appreciated, though.
On Saturday I met up with Emily and Crysse for a walk on Marston estate lanes (see photo - em, as usual, just landscape even though I did have friends with me!). It was a glorious day, and we walked for a good few miles... such joy! also the opportunity to delve into collective female wisdom on an issue that's been bugging me for some time... Lots of reading, lots of writing... an excellent weekend!
Followed by a Bank Holiday, with a Pilton writers meeting. Chuffed to bits to get a new story completed for our internal competition... I can't remember the last time I wrote a complete piece of short fiction - as opposed to a mere fragment.
Work late on Tuesday, and another bloody migraine episode - short enough not to be a real problem, but a nuisance all the same. The team let me away early from the trainers' meeting, so I only did half a day in the end. Wednesday, back to the GP to get advice on the lesion on my wrist (classic insect bite in someone immuno-suppressed, apparently) and how to prevent the extensive bruising on my legs from scratching (stop the itching with an anti-histamine - except it doesn't, I feel like a bitch with fleas...) Lazy evening - watched Ralph Fiennes in the frothy Maid in Manhattan. For me, he's never matched his Almasy...
Thursday was my first day free of ribivirin! Shiatsu with Carla, and some success in encouraging the fluid from my ear to drain (been deaf in my right ear for five weeks now). The pressure in my skull lessened, anyway. Crysse and I met up to write in Christies, plus a wee stroll in the rain (and I know why I don't normally bother with an umbrella - but at least it kept the worst of the rain off!) Hopefully a couple of new poems for live n' lippy, but more crucially, a good session tinkering with potential entries for the New Ventures competition. I'm crap at rewrites, and tend to put it off... indefinitely! So poem seeds often sit abandoned for years... like neglected children, how can they flourish and develop their potential if their mother ignores them? (I'm right - people like me shouldn't breed, they just don't do the motherhood thing well at all...) Blood counts better - except my white cells. Full range next week, and a proper appointment with my nurse - it's been a weekly phone check-in for weeks and weeks...
Our team's development day today. Aside from an early start (awake at 5.30am) to get there on time, a lovely easy day - wall-to-wall meetings or workshops are so much easier than dealing with service users!
But the main reason I began this (probably over-detailed) account of my last days of tx is that I went for a walk after work today. The rain went off, and there was at least an hour or so of daylight... So I donned those seven-league boots, and went for a proper tramp in the lanes. The skyscapes were incredible, and such colours... the landscape has gulped at the rain, resulting in such intensity of fragrances and colour to rival that in the sky... the birdsong always seems particularly musical after rain, as if the birds are celebrating a break in the weather... SUCH a gift. I've missed (proper) walking so much!
