virtual and spiritual existence

I make no apologies for this bit of self-indulgence.
It's likely to be a bit garbled - I'm tired and quite emotional (now there's a surprise!) and I've had a couple of glasses of Chardonnay (real stuff Crysse, not the mock Bolly this afternoon!)

One of the touchingly heart-warming and steadying things about being home having braved something incredible that stacks of people knew about has been hearing how my family and friends, in the ten days I was away, wondered what I was doing, where I was, how I was coping...

to give a flavour:-

Atholl; flowers on my return, big hugs and lots of telling me how PROUD he is of me - this my great big lad, who's so young, clever, creative, strong, witty, and vital (I was so envious of his effortless jog up Durdledoor cliffs on our last day - I hate him sometimes!) and utterly, utterly gorgeous... yet so nearly not with me to share anything...
sometimes when you exist in the same space as another individual, you have no conception of the depth of their love for you... that the love you hold for them may be reciprocated immeasurably...

Mum; Alexander Graham Bell, your innovation has made a world of difference to many of our lives! - where would I be without my weekly check-in with my wonderful mother (though we're not good with 27/7!)
(and one day, you WILL be proud of me...)

friends - without whom I wouldn't be breathing: -

Crysse; apart from more or less single-handedly sorting my fundraising, training with me, and supporting me emotionally, financially, creatively and practically, there's all the emails, texts, references on her blog (http://crysse.blogspot.com/ you'll find an update on our filming session today for the 'live n' lippy' DVD project with Howard, such a priviledge to work on creative projects with enthusiasts like him - and today, Howard and Kate both comment how good I look after my challenge)
WALKING TIME MADE FOR ME ON COMING HOME - and that, in our pressured lives, is probably the most precious gift.

Carole; friend so long she's definitely a surrogate sister as well as a dear and precious friend & Durdledoor campmate - we'll get together in London asap - she's been following my blog although she's a bit of a technophobe...

Karen; she's coming down to Frome on the 22nd Nov, the day after I collect my first batch of meds!!!!! Can't wait, sweetheart!

Helen; I so miss being with my beautiful process partner to write and touch base, but in spite of her trials and tribulations with various massively physically debilitating problems (traumatic and frustrating), she has taken the trouble to stay in telephone contact... thank you!

Mike; got my computer up and running again after a horrendous offline few days... devoting time and effort to processing my 400 plus shots, helping me with slideshow preparation... you've made a real difference, thank you!

Steve H; his perception of support involves much longer-term projects (including a day's work on a grant bid for my Dreamweavers project, and also consolidating further the Coleridge connection, soo exciting - thank you Steve! & see website http://www.steppingouttheatre.co.uk/)

Penny; good company, a tidy house and food in the fridge on my return! plus consultations and a rucksack swap with army cadet daughter Sinead...

Andy; (Ath's dad) a surprise visit a week ago Sunday to find out how I'd got on...

workmates listening to me gush about Nepal:-

my boss, Dave Mac (what a welcome back to work - and suitably dramatic, arms thrown wide, 'Hazel - you're ALIVE!!!!')
Rowan, Lucy, Nigel, Dave H & Laura...

email, phone and snail mail contacts (sometimes all 3) sending their best wishes:-
Peter P, Mike & Fi, John P, Jill, Pippa, Alan, Peter Mac, Michele, Vanessa, Carole J

trekkers:-
Petra's photos, Sam's mails...

(and I will have missed some out - my apologies!)

there I was, up Himalayan mountainsides, in all sorts of emotional knots, ecstatic highs and physical privations - and just as I was held in their hearts and minds, so that helped me take another step...
sure as (something proverbial), if it had all been just for me, or my efforts alone, I'd've dropped to the deck and said stuff this trek nonsense where the sun don't shine... there's an easier way than this!

But I didn't, I kept going...

just not by myself, and not just through the efforts of those that were actually there either...

and now, it seems the Driftwood Mirror is re-entering my life - good to feel it again!

time for bed, said Zebedee...